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 Aku harus menjiwai penyesalanku, bahwa aku menyesal begitu bodoh karena kurangnya ilmu agama.

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"I have a dream!" you said.

My mentor in mentoring group, Teh Juan hafidzahullahu ta'ala, sent us video link to watch, review, and share the insight we got from the video. Last Thursday, she sent us a video that read a book titled "Yan's Hajj, Journey of a lifetime" The story begin with a muslim named Yan want to perform pilgrimage to baitullah. Yan is a farmer who work very hard to achieve that dream. Years later, he have a bag of money that I assumed for the travel expense. In the end of the story, Yan can do pilgrimage beautifully. But, you know, I already thought there must be some problem to achieve his dream. First, when the money already enough, he met some children crying because of their school was burnt. Then, Yan going to repair their school and of course the process need a lot of money and Yan using his money for it. This choice have consequence for Yan going back to his village and should start saving money from scratch. And he CHOOSE it so that the children can go learn at their sc...
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Nanti Kalau Allah Tanya, Jawab Apa?

 Judul tersebut adalah dialog Hana yang nyesss untukku. Hana? Iya tokoh animasi anak kecil perempuan yang sudah menanyakan pertanyaan "dewasa". Pertanyaan Hana mengingatkanku dengan firman Allah ta'ala dalam Al-Hasyr:18-19 Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala berfirman: يٰۤاَ يُّهَا الَّذِيْنَ اٰمَنُوْا اتَّقُوا اللّٰهَ وَلْتَـنْظُرْ نَـفْسٌ مَّا قَدَّمَتْ لِغَدٍ ۚ وَا تَّقُوا اللّٰهَ ۗ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ خَبِيْرٌ بِۢمَا تَعْمَلُوْنَ "Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bertakwalah kepada Allah dan hendaklah setiap orang memperhatikan apa yang telah diperbuatnya untuk hari esok (akhirat), dan bertakwalah kepada Allah. Sungguh, Allah Maha Mengetahui terhadap apa yang kamu kerjakan." (QS. Al-Hasyr 59: Ayat 18) * Via Al-Qur'an Indonesia https://quran-id.com Ya Allah, aku yang mengetik ini sambil duduk bersandar di sofa yang nyaman rasanya "ingin mengaku-ngaku" bahwa akh hamba yang Engkau panggil dalam ayat tersebut.  Alur dalam video Hana tadi sangat bagus dan tepat ...
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"It all started with just one Bismillah."

Alhamdulillah. So, apparently I read a book that have title "Bismillah Soup" by Asmaa Hussein. The book have sweet ilustration with easy words to understand. I know the book because my mentor, Teh Juan, asked me to watch a video on youtube with the book being a content in that video.  At first, I only watch the video audio-book with straight face because I didnt feel something unusual. I think it just a book for children until I found that phrase: It all started with just one Bismillah. I think that phrase hit me hard relate to my condition. So many things happened lately and I felt I didnt have time to digest the wisdom, the hikmah of this existing situation. Even as I write this blog, I still havent finished understanding what situation is this that come to me; i still havent finished thinking and feeling about it. And it is getting worse because little by little my body showed I was worrying too much. Yup. Too much. And my latest hypothesis is I forgot the true, the real m...
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