Aku kagum lagi

 Aku kagum dengan ulama, yang hatinya bersih sehingga Allah beri taufiq untuk menghafal hadits.


Kalau ada penyesalan yang harus aku gemakan, maka itu adalah penyesalan begitu terlambatnya aku menuntut ilmu agama. Seolah olah aku ridho mengutuk diriku sendiri dengan masa depan yang gelap. Gila banget, nyesel di dunia aja udah se gaenak ini. Apalagi nyesel di akhirat. Nauzubillah.

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"I have a dream!" you said.

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Nanti Kalau Allah Tanya, Jawab Apa?

 Judul tersebut adalah dialog Hana yang nyesss untukku. Hana? Iya tokoh animasi anak kecil perempuan yang sudah menanyakan pertanyaan "dewasa". Pertanyaan Hana mengingatkanku dengan firman Allah ta'ala dalam Al-Hasyr:18-19 Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala berfirman: يٰۤاَ يُّهَا الَّذِيْنَ اٰمَنُوْا اتَّقُوا اللّٰهَ وَلْتَـنْظُرْ نَـفْسٌ مَّا قَدَّمَتْ لِغَدٍ ۚ وَا تَّقُوا اللّٰهَ ۗ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ خَبِيْرٌ بِۢمَا تَعْمَلُوْنَ "Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bertakwalah kepada Allah dan hendaklah setiap orang memperhatikan apa yang telah diperbuatnya untuk hari esok (akhirat), dan bertakwalah kepada Allah. Sungguh, Allah Maha Mengetahui terhadap apa yang kamu kerjakan." (QS. Al-Hasyr 59: Ayat 18) * Via Al-Qur'an Indonesia https://quran-id.com Ya Allah, aku yang mengetik ini sambil duduk bersandar di sofa yang nyaman rasanya "ingin mengaku-ngaku" bahwa akh hamba yang Engkau panggil dalam ayat tersebut.  Alur dalam video Hana tadi sangat bagus dan tepat
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"It all started with just one Bismillah."

Alhamdulillah. So, apparently I read a book that have title "Bismillah Soup" by Asmaa Hussein. The book have sweet ilustration with easy words to understand. I know the book because my mentor, Teh Juan, asked me to watch a video on youtube with the book being a content in that video.  At first, I only watch the video audio-book with straight face because I didnt feel something unusual. I think it just a book for children until I found that phrase: It all started with just one Bismillah. I think that phrase hit me hard relate to my condition. So many things happened lately and I felt I didnt have time to digest the wisdom, the hikmah of this existing situation. Even as I write this blog, I still havent finished understanding what situation is this that come to me; i still havent finished thinking and feeling about it. And it is getting worse because little by little my body showed I was worrying too much. Yup. Too much. And my latest hypothesis is I forgot the true, the real m
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